Opinion: Support from One LGBT Student to Another

By Thomas Yi
Staff Writer

“What was the most difficult challenge you faced as a student at UCSF?” Without hesitation, I told my interviewers about the first Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Student Association event I attended at UCSF. By the first month of pharmacy school, I had only came out to a small group of close classmates. I didn’t know who else was LGBT in my class, but no one was openly out. I was terrified about what my class and the faculty would think about my sexuality. Going to the event was a step in coming out at UCSF and I didn’t think I was prepared for it.

When I started pharmacy school, I only recently had come out to my friends a year prior to coming to UCSF, but the process was the most difficult journey of my life. After my third year at Berkeley, I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of autoimmune disease that had destroyed my kidneys. While waiting for a transplant, I spent four hours every other day having my blood filtered through a dialysis machine to keep me alive. It was during that time when I began to deal with my sexuality.

As the only son of first-generation, Korean immigrants, I felt immense pressure to live up to the ideals my parents. I was an active member of my church and always did well in academics. When I first realized I was gay, the fear and confusion I felt made me suppress those thoughts out of my consciousness. But when I became sick, I couldn’t deal with the immense stress and sadness I felt due to both my sexuality and illness. I fell into bouts of depression and prayed every night. While I wanted God to cure my kidney disease, I pleaded with God to take away my homosexuality even more. I came out to some close friends, not because I was ready, but because I didn’t know if I could go on living the way I was for much longer.

Coming out is a step that most LGBT people take after years, even decades, of fear and suffering. Many experience the loss of friendships and family while others find comfort and strength. In professional school, coming out is a difficult decision for every LGBT student. No longer are we lost in a sea of undergraduates. We are thrown in with classmates that we will work and spend most of our time with for four years. We have to interact with faculty members, many who will be our colleagues and bosses, and who can make or break our future careers. LGBT students risk their academic and occupational success by coming out.

When I came to UCSF, I felt comfortable with the friends I made, even though they were all straight. They became my support and greatest allies. It was one of my best friends, Tim, who encouraged me to attend the LGBT Student Association event by saying, “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” Those words were simple but it changed the course of my UCSF career. I never thought I would be involved with LGBT leadership on campus but after my experiences, I felt a need to make sure that every LGBT student would feel welcome and accepted, not just tolerated, at UCSF.

My fear, and the main reason I am writing this piece, is for those students at UCSF who still struggle with their sexuality. In most cases, I believe the recent debates over politics have been healthy and productive. It is crucial that we are all able to voice our opinions, in a respectable manner, so that we can learn from one another. However, the intense discussions over Proposition 8 have created an environment that instills more fear about coming out in LGBT individuals still in the closet.

What I want to say to every LGBT student at UCSF is that there are classmates, faculty and staff who whole-heartedly support you. UCSF as an institution believes in creating a welcoming environment where students from all backgrounds can come and bring their unique differences to the community. It is my belief that the faculty, staff, administration and Chancellor have taken many important steps to assist the LGBT community at UCSF. We have an active LGBT Resource Center lead by the wonderful Shane Snowdon. The Chancellor has a committee that guides him on specific LGBT issues on campus. New diversity initiatives in all schools have included sexual minorities as one of their focuses.

Even though there may be classmates or professors who may seem to be close-minded, please know that the majority of them want to assist and encourage you in every way possible. I’m not suggesting that every LGBT student come out, but I want to let them know that if they are ready, there will be those who will support you and stand by your side. If the articles written in Synapse are any indication, there are those who will fight on your behalf as well. So if you decide to take the next step, from coming out to your close classmate to becoming an active member of the LGBT leadership on campus, please know that UCSF is a safe and welcoming institution to do so.

Thomas Yi is a third-year Pharmacy Student and Co-Chair of the UCSF LGBT Student Association.