Humor

Monday, March 6, 2017 - 13:04

Living the Dream

By Ray

As my laundry piles, carpet stains and the dust rests in my room I realize that I just don’t have time outside of school anymore.

Thursday, January 26, 2017 - 13:10

A Modest $100M Proposal

By Ray

With a generous gift from the Helen Diller Foundation, UCSF has been able to finally answer the question, “What would you do if you won the lottery?”

Friday, December 9, 2016 - 10:00

The Turkey Drop

By Ray

It’s not uncommon to find students coming into UCSF with a full-fledged relationship — one of those we’ve-been-steady-for-two-years types. But as we know all too well, UCSF isn’t always friendly to our long-distance lovebirds.

Friday, October 21, 2016 - 12:03

Fight Restroom Inequality

By Ray
When nature calls, you go. There are no gender lines, arbitrary rooms and designated stalls. When your bowels are moving, sweat is dripping and the tensions are tight as can be, regardless of what sign that bathroom has up, you go. Nature happened to call really strongly upon my friend one day while we were working through the late night in the SimLab Clinics and to her terror, the women’s restroom was undergoing a cleaning. So like any normal person with an exploding bladder, she went into the men’s.
Saturday, September 24, 2016 - 16:11

The New and Improved UCSF?

By Ray
Welcome back students! The school has dearly missed you. Since you’ve been gone, there have been some new additions. As you must have noticed, the school is now officially an open campus. They’ve managed to finally make the hole on the Parnassus side of campus the size of three tanks, although they have been working very adamantly and carefully not to make the progress too noticeable.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016 - 08:15

Why So Heavy, UCSF?

By Ray
Dear Ray, I am a 3rd year BMS PhD student. The topic of my rant suggestion is the extreme heaviness of many doors here at UCSF (Parnassus Medical Sciences and Mission Bay Genentech Hall would be two prime examples). In addition to frequently leaving me confused and annoyed, I believe these heavy doors to be a potential safety hazard: if I ever forget to brace myself and assume a proper wide-legged stance when opening said doors, then chances are pretty good that instead of pulling the door towards my body I will end up pulling my body into contact with the door.
Thursday, May 12, 2016 - 11:44

Dreading Error 404

By Ray
I still can’t attach a document to my UCSF email. Still. I don’t know how long it’s been since the majority of the U.S. population has switched over to Google Chrome, but I am still required to open that ancient relic, Internet Explorer, every time I need to attach anything to my email.
Thursday, March 24, 2016 - 13:59

Late Night Cravings

By Ray

As much as food is the purpose of life, it is the bane of my existence at UCSF. We who live to eat cannot survive on the same boring foods every day.

Thursday, February 4, 2016 - 13:18

Welcome to Homecoming, Grad School Style

By Ray
Editor’s Note: Our friendly neighborhood MamaM has moved on to greener pastures.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014 - 09:45

Sales rep assures customers that his company’s product are superior

By Synapse

Alan Ripwell, salesman for Divine Biological Inc., has assured several lab managers at UCSF that his company’s lab products are far superior to those offered by competitors.