Anonymous Scientists Share 2023 New Year’s Resolutions

Sunday, January 29, 2023
  1. Stop printing papers that I never read.
  2. Finally figure out how to send lab coats out for laundry.
  3. Use Chat GPT to draft all emails.
  4. Get more exercise by syncing a rat’s running wheel to a walking desk so that every time the rat runs, I have to run.
  5. Cry less.
  6. Find out how to ban Comic Sans in all scientific presentations.
  7. Only apply to conferences happening on tropical islands.
  8. Learn to run six Western Blots simultaneously.
  9. Train mice to run together in a harness and pull a small sled loaded with PCR tubes.
  10. Bring back Comic Sans…